Today, I want to write about the unexpected things that uplift us when everyday life gets depressing, difficult, and lonely.
Looking at people around, one is getting the idea that others are happy, busy, and successful, or at least are pursuing happiness.
Meanwhile, you are unsure of your future, beat up by the past, and with a great pile of unpaid bills waiting at home to be opened. Yes, that is me, too.
So many times, I have failed people around me and lost contact with people I should have kept close.
I did not do or provide what I should have. Most of the time, I can only manage to struggle some more.
All of it is crushing my self-esteem and the will to persevere.
It is even hard to keep good sleep hours and diet.
It's not that I am lazy—quite the opposite. I keep doing what I am supposed to do a little earlier and longer, hoping that it will make a difference and I will have a happy break.
My job resume keeps growing, and opportunities materialize, but it is human nature to forget the blessings from the past. We live in a vicious cycle—it is a rat race.
Today was one of those days.
There is nothing to complain about, really. I worked all day, never even making a dent in what I would like to have accomplished. I could have been proud of myself if I had a drop of objectivism, but I don't.
After work, I went to Barnes & Noble for coffee to study a little more.
By chance, I stumbled upon a book signing session in the bookstore tonight.
The author, a lovely black lady, has interviewed countless happy couples worldwide who have been together for 25 years or longer. I sat in and listened. I've got hope and warmth.
I got the book signed by the author and a cup of hot chocolate.
I decided to go and see a movie.
The movie was surprisingly good. It was about great love and heroes. People do need heroes. We have been conditioned for thousands of years to gather together at night around the fire and listen to stories about heroes. It is a fabric of our lives, what makes us human.
Back in the day, it was our tribe, our friends, that would tell and re-tell the stories of the past, that would laugh with us at our mistakes and highlight, often exaggerate, our adventures, which with time became the stuff of legends.
We don't have much of that today. People, even those dear to us, are hardly ever willing to sing songs about us, and there are no more heroes in our everyday lives.
However, we have movies and books that are full of heroes. They keep us going, they keep us from becoming total zombies as everyone down deep wants to be the knight on the white horse, chopping heads off the bad guys and winning the great love of a fair lady.
Surprisingly, tonight, I was inspired by a totally unexpected YouTube video I found on Facebook of a British lady, Hollie McNish, reciting a poem in what many would consider an awful, deep-steet Brit accent.
I was absolutely captivated. I had not heard the power of the spoken word for years, an art I had totally neglected. I simply had forgotten how powerful words can be.
People have oils and charcoal, paintings and sketches—I love the visual arts, too, but most of all, I love words.
Her performance made me realize how much I have missed the art of storytelling, the poetry of words.
Suddenly, I felt at home again, knowing who I am and what makes me happy.
With my mind's eye, I could see the fireplace, a low table, pages of paper, and a fountain pen with a golden nib gliding effortlessly, telling stories and composing poems.
I could see the old wooden table at the window, the snow outside, the evergreen trees of the mountains, the typewriter, and pages of the book coming out of it with a lovely tap-tap of keys pressed.
I could see a table in the outdoor cafe above the oceanside, a notebook.
I could see an old, stylish guest house I had visited in a small resort town in the Polish mountains. There was a piano, a library, a low cafe table, a comfortable sofa, the rain outside, deep thoughts, and writing.
I want to write about good things in life.
I wrote these words, and I can go to sleep happily.
Good night, my dear Natalia. I love you.
