iBlog

I changed to iBlog because it only makes sense for me as .Mac user. This blog space served me well and maybe in the future i will use it again, in the meanwhile please check out my iBlog.

You can always find it at:

http://www.DominqueLucas.com

Update: 

iBlog really dropped the ball, they could have the Mac community using their product, but the product is simply not good enough.

Back to blogger. At least I can send emails to my blog from my cell phone.

Buddhist mindset and Mail folders on OS X

I spent most of the evening rearranging my mail messages. I created nice Family, Business and Friends folders and put all my correspondence accordingly.
Finally, I wanted to rename "friends" to "Friends", to make it consistent with the rest of the folders. The program did rename the folder, but it also kept the original one with the subfolders... I quickly looked in, seeing that they both have content in them, I assumed that the program created a DUPLICATE, I hit the delete on the old one -- what a mistake!!!

I wanted to cry when I noticed there is no deleted version in the Trash bin, it is gone, forever, all my emails with friends! Couldn't it be my old work emails that I will never need again?!? My heart aches!

My head is still rushing with emotions, what am I thinking?

- everything is impermanent (Buddhist principle)
- even on Mac OS X you can loose stuff... it is not just Windows that make you a Buddhist (or insane)
- don't be cheap and get yourself a FireWire backup hard-drive with good encryption
- backup your stuff, you idiot - how many times you need to learn it in a hard way

Java "Double" inacurancy

I wrote an application recently to calculate measurements for rebuilding an engine. The measurements must be accurate to the tenths thousands of an inch (0.0001 inch).
What I found out, that the standard floating point (double length) operations in Java are extremely inaccurate rendering my program useless for practical purposes.
Of course I can round off the results to one decimal point before and get it accurate enough, but the fact that $2.00 calculator is more accurate than $4,500.00 Apple G4 just upsets me.

image processing

I study image processing. The book has been sitting on the shelf for a year now, I always wanted to pick it up, but every time I did I got discouraged.

Image processing does not impress a lot of people, in fact did not impress me much. There are few companies in the field that do much image processing, an example of course would be ADOBE with Photoshop and Illustrator.

Every camera is coming now with simple image editor, so why would I want to study image processing, especially in Java? Most of the good software is still written in C++.

Well, image processing is mathematical transformations of the image on the bit level. The effect may result in variety of things, e.g.: black-and-white, negative, sepia, brightness, sharpness and color alternation. Also edge finding, rotating, etc. This is as far as most of the basic skills get.

So why? Well, with a bit of practice and some new ideas I can be doing things that are not as common. Image compression, encoding. Putting hidden messages in the image - that is fun, I have seen it in the movie.

Pattern recognition, that is a major one.

It's already a highly sough after skill now, and I think will be incredibly more so in the future. There will be a huge industry, equal to most of the current software combined, focused on patter recognition in the future.
To name just the few: Airport security, smart locks, robotic eyes, smart car and airplane navigation systems, traffic cameras, astronomy, meteorology, satellite imaging, security systems that replace current dumb motion detectors, even a TV set and house stereo might recognize you to play your favorites, the applications will be endless.

So here I am studying. Ironic that I found so hard to explain to a friend why I study such a highly UNPRACTICAL computer skill.

I woke up with a dream in my head

I had a dream about a young guy, right after the high school, that was attending my automotive program. He was a smart kid. In the class he showed us a roll-up screen that served as mono-chrome display for the computer. He used it to scroll a marquee across. The screen was some kind of fabric, almost like a tracing paper with a machine-sawn-in patch that held carbon that he put there from the pencil core (graphite really). On the edges there were rails with computer wires attached, the type you can find in the hard drive connections. The screen could be rolled up just like a scroll. What happened was that a layer of carbon emitted a single frequency light at different point between two electrodes depending on voltage applied. With an electrical grid it was easy to create a simple display.

The kid was full of other tech-wiz tricks like that.

I talked to him and asked "What the hell are you doing in here you should be in college getting your PHD?" the kid responded "I don't know, there wasn't anything to do.. [as after the high school]"
He also was going thru the Japanese learning book, familiar to me, in fact the more advanced that I ever had. That really impressed the hell lot of me. I thought that the kid was misguided after the high school and went to this school instead of university like he should. I hoped that he will straighten that out soon.
I woke up after the bell rang, it was the last day and summer vacation was starting, we were getting out of the class of Mr. Van Warmer (my current teacher).

After I woke up, I quietly picked up my laptop so not to wake up the girls, I had some Godiva dark chocolate ice cream at the living room sofa, chatted with Tomek, and wrote my dream down. Interesting thing is that such kid does not exist, carbon does not emit light as far as I know -- was my subconsciousness telling me something?

Wabi-Sabi

There is a latrine in Medicine Bowl mountains built in the years of great depression. 

It has a look of single-room stone cabin, built of the local river round rocks. For some 70 years it served a single purpose - a shit hole, with pile of excrements of generations of tourist stacking high. Now, it is a historical marker, an architectural marvel in its simplicity and beauty. 

I have a collection of pictures of the iron man-hole street covers from Japan, they have their own beauty.

Look around and you will find those, one of the kind, quality made, worn by time and somewhat imperfect marvels, And marvel, you should.

Pop Rocks

I watched this not-so-memorable ABC family channel movie tonight, I got nothing to say about the movie itself, but I made me think about my life. You can call it mid-life crises, I will not be offended.

No, it has not been 20 years yet since I was young, but it is about 15 -- a long period enough to reflect.

Many things that have happened back then shaped my life for a long time thereafter.

First of all, I should say that I think I was raised properly when I was a small child. I was educated in a lot of subjects and I believe I had an upper hand hand over most of my peers. I knew etiquette from my father, I learned a lot of extracurricular things from my mother, I also was trained to take care of the house, to cook and to clean. That was all good.

Unfortunately, past certain important age, my mother got sicker and sicker, and eventually she died when I was about eleven. My father wasn't a model of behavior with heavy alcoholism, constant parties and God knows what else. Eventually he left for USA and I haven't heard much from him for next seven years. I was passed from hands to hands like unwanted orphan that I was.

My final year of grammar school was memorable because I participated in incredible amounts of physical activities. Shotokan Karate, under European bronze Kata medalist Jozef Raczka was the most intense training I ever undergone, and that includes US Marines. I was also a sprinter and together with my friends we won the school relay record, the local state gold and the region bronze medal. It was big time. My name may still be displayed on the school board.

In high school I was on my own, no supervision whatsoever. I must say I did get some education, my school was good. I remember those years as the best time of my life. Parties, trips (both tourist and alcoholic type), dating. Dating and sex were the meaning of life back then.

I think that because I did not have family, I always wanted to find that missing feeling in my girlfriends. It does not take a psychologist to figure out that few girls were up to this close of a relationship. A lot of conflict arose.

Because the only way of solving conflict, in my father's house, was by yelling, or violence, I raised hell, and the hell I lived until long, long after I grew up. I am so sorry now to all people I hurt back then. I hurt most wonderful people, due to my character flaws.

I also notice now that I have a complete lack of family-occasion planning skills. I have never participated in any; I was not invited to weddings, baptisms, etc. I am terrified on the thought that my wife wants to have one for our daughter's first birthday. That would be the first family get-together I ever hosted, I am 31!

So at this age, to summarize, I have got a mix bag of feelings: Physically I feel stronger than ever, not as fast, but I would love to participate and sponsor an athletic track-and-field club same day. Also, I feel very unattractive, that is comparing to my young years when I was outright cute and lovable. I scare most of the people at the first sight now. I feel much smarter, even comparing to last year. I think am wiser, I keep my mouth shut much more than ever before. I don't feel accomplished; often I am even depressed about my failures. To outside world mostly I present an image of hubris, but internally I am very humble.

In last 15 years I lived an interesting life: Marines, Japan, met most wonderful people that I will never forget, University of Maryland, Janice, Tom, Ito-san. I have been on the bottom (as a security doorman and as avid SCUBA driver) and on the top (as a director and as mountain climber and skier). I have been in a lot of places, mostly alone. I learned some Zen and concept of Wabi-Sabi.

Now I have a very good and loving wife, and incredibly beautiful daughter. I am not sure what I will be doing even a month from now as I just interviewed with Capps Digital to restart my computer engineering career. This uncertainty is OK, I study hard and I know that given a chance I will do fine again. I lived a long and fulfilling life until now and I am happy and found internal peace.

never learn...

Good news. The guy that have been shot the other day moved his leg, which means that with an effort he might be able to recover and maybe walk again. I also found out that he got shot because of his brother, a gangster. What's worse they don't want to inform the police about the shooter, but instead they want to take care of it themselves. The circle will never close. How sad it is, they will never learn.

Kikujiro

I watched Kikujiro by Takeshi Kitano.

This is maybe because of my bias towards Japan, but the movie speaks directly to my heart. The film digs in deeply into rotten human existence, and is uplifting at the same time. By contrast, I gained new perspective, thanks Takeshi!

It is refreshing to see a movie without special effects that speaks to you about people, not super-heros.

Our decadent world

The day started as usual. On the way to school I wanted to concentrate on my own thoughts. I chose not listen to the radio; I didn't want to hear all of the bad news. Usually I listen to NPR, they are somewhat more informative and dwell less on controversy.
The peace was not meant for me this morning, on the way I almost had an accident. Still shaky, I went to the class.

Two of my desk mates, the cousins, were missing. Again -- I thought, they shall be coming-in couple of hours with a huge hang-over and a story of the last night's outings.
Only one showed up. With the terror in his eyes he said something about his cousin (I decided to skip the name) being shot, and went off to our academic supervisor.
Upon his return, I found out that, the previous night, the guy was out with their friend at about 8:30 PM, when they both got shot in front the Dominick's food store by some unknown gang. He got shot in the back, the bullet ricocheted off his spine and punctured his lung. Their friend, a 19-old girl, was shot to neck and died shortly after.

I used to shop in that store (Belmont & Kimball) all the time when we lived on Central Park. I went to the same high school as the victim and the shooter, the Carl Schulz H.S.

What can I say, I hope he will recover, doctors say he may not walk again...

I was to study and program Java tonight, but I just viewed some sites on the Internet. I browsed some photo galleries with japanese views, mostly wabi-sabi in the character. I've red story about the decadence of Japanese culture, another about "My hobby is shopping" in the same locale and spirit, and another one on the meat consumption in that country.

Buddhist are to refrain from meat consumption, I guess I don't follow that, so cannot expect Japanese to do it either.

I browsed thru the Fudo-Myoo-o deities in search for peace and enlightenment in this violent and decadent world.
Yet, still, ... I've got to meditate on cutting thru all the ignorance and passions.

So many people know that our culture is over the top and tumbling down, would strong moral stand slow it down? Who is right?

Liliann has learned how to walk and turn, she enjoyed it so much today that she spend hours just walking around the house. I will teach her buddhist morals as she grows up.
She needs faith.

So long, so many changes

I haven't kept up with the blogs. I don't spend too much time in front of the computer anymore and it is hard to justify the time spent. Not like anybody is reading it... :)

I have 2 classes left to get out from school and start an internship. I currently work at Huntley, we will see where it will all go. I just finished a resume biased to the automotive audience, check it out...

http://resumes.hotjobs.com/uki0001/Auto

if you want to offer me a job, or comment email me at UkiDLucas@mac.com

I will be passing the resume and my business cards around the European car dealerships, maybe I can land a better deal than what I have now.

I am also considering continuation of my automotive training, first to get the associates degree, probably in Colorado, then with one of the manufacturers (Mercedes, BMW and Jaguar have excellent programs).

Lili is growing fast, she says "Hi" to everyone now, especially to the cell phones. She has 4 teeth: 2 up , 2 down.

Today, Ji's grandmother died. I have to honor, and retrospect, a long life full of events that expired. Otherwise I have no emotional attachments. Ji is sad, depressed. Ji's mother will fly to Korea on Friday.

Time to go sleep.

Hey, I found myself...

http://www.lincolneducationalservices.com/index.php?c=news_more&newsid=34

It is nice to get surprised by being mentioned...

Comment on current events....

miserychick.net

This was plain stupid of you Ann. (No offence, she knows I love her... kidding)

We had no business in Iraq, everybody knows that. We move out of there now, the anarchy will be created, bloodshed and separation for many years. No chance for democracy at all.
As to socialist party winning in Spain -- what to celebrate about? I lived in socialist country for 18 years, I hope you will not have to, ever.... Finally, changing (Spanish) national policy in the wake of the terrorist attacts? Everybody knows that is a suicide in making... and asking for more. I would not be so cheerful, but sad, a lot of bad things have happened. Nothing good.

Haiku in PERL

I found that site...
Haiku in PERL
so I wanted to try, too.



sub conscious {}
while( true ) { tell ( NONE ); }
die unless conscious();



I felt like I needed to add few comments for those haste readers...

The subconscious mind is the reflection to the true self. According to Zen buddhism, we shall not spend our lives floating away from reality (getting high, dreaming away), that won't get us anywhere. We strive to overcome all illusions and bring out the true self into the conscious mind. There is no life (only dying) without that enlightenment.

Lili's growth

In the last 6 months Liliann has grown:

- height: from 17.5 inches to 27 inches
- weight: from 8 pounds to 15 pounds

good going girl!

Doctor's appointment

We went to the doctor to confirm that Lili is developing right. Her height is in the 90th percentile for her age, the weight is below 50%. With being so active doctor said, it is as she was whole day in the gym working out, no way to gain weight.

She is one bouncy, happy baby, always curious about everything around her.

She crawls around the room in no time and chews to bit any book, or magazine she can find. It is a new job for us to police the floors and pick up anything she can hurt herself with.

Lili's first tooth

Few days before Lili's 6th month's birthday marked the next important step - a first tooth cutting thru the lower jaw.

Congratulations Lili!

Chipped dinosaur tooth

I watched a program about peleoarcheologist in Ethiopia spending 3 weeks just to find a chipped dinosaur tooth. The four well educated guys in the remote place of the world. That expedition must have costed a fortune. Yet it was worth it!

I guess sometime my own expectations are too high.

I complain the school is not worth the money and time I invest in it. I spend 6 hours at school every night just to learn a little bit of information, maybe that is all I should have learnt? I guess I will never answer that question.

One thing I have to learn is to live my life a little bit at the time.

poison, or ulcer?

I think I just poisoned my self, or I had a violent reaction of my stomach... I ate mashed patato and chicken, which has been in the fridge for a few days, and some water diluted wine (I cannot drink full strenght). Usually, I might have a hearburn after a wine, but this time I after just a bite, or two, my stomach just shut down. I had run to the kitchen to spit the wine, took a glass of water, but I could not swallow. Eventually, I managed to take two heartburn pills that I swallowed, but I still could not drink much water. For the next hour I was puking what seemed to be a foamy clear-watery substance (pill efect?). To make it worse my baby had a hissy-fit, everytime I left the room, she was screaming. So I was puking with the baby on my arm - how much fun! I was on the verge of a panic attack because my stomach was killing me, I felt like choking. I was afraid that it is a poisoning indeed, and worse, that the baby got it too (via a pacifier, or bottle I was trying to give to calm her down). After I got everything out of my stomach, the little chicken I ate, I got better. I called Ji but she did not answer, I wanted her to know what is going on in case I get worse. Finally, I managed to feed the baby enough (with the frequent stops for the bathroom visits and her cry attacs) and she fell asleep. I had to sit over her for a good 30 minutes, because she was opening her eyes to check if I am there. Now, I regained my strength and I am readying to make some jello. A trick I learned in my highschool days of heavy drinking and frequent hang-overs and alcohol poisonings -- the best cure for upset stomach is jello, or polish version of it, a kisiel. Well, life throws you the curve balls sometimes. I feel better now.

Choices: 15 minutes at a time

Recently, I have been worrying about the future. I am long past dwelling on the past, but still I feel inferior to my potential. Worry is a killer, a stress maker. I had a lot of it lately.

I've just read that the more one lives in the the present, the better one masters life and continues growing as a spiritual being. I've lost that somehow recently.

I used to live 15 minutes at the time*, for practical purposes that is about the closest one can go about daily things without full meditative awarness.

You have to have you priorities straight, your values set to know what is right thing to do at the moment. That takes time to develop, you can learn from smarter parents, or peers, or from your own mistakes if nobody around you fits the profile of the mentor.

Let me explain: In your 15 minutes intervals you ask yourself what am I doing to enhance my life. That can be anything:

- studying for the celebral growth
- watching an educational program on TV for the same reason
- eating food for health
- exercising for strenght and good mental attitude
- attending school for the diploma (even if you learn nothing)
- deciding to go sleep to replenish the energy, rest is essential
- playing with the baby for her sake
- spend time with family and friends

What you don't want is to waste time, waste your life. When you vegetate in front of TV watching a really bad Sci-Fi show, or worse, a soap opera, you just waste the time. You don't rest, you don't get stronger, you grow weaker.

I noticed that if you put this practice to life, you don't worry about the past and the future because you are already doing the best you can.

Another miracle is that sooner than later you end up achieving more that you have dreamed at the begining and the achievment feels effortless, because you did not struggle to reach it. You just lived your life one-fifteen minute moment at the time.

If you side-track from the practice bad things happen, you get depressed, discouraged, life it an unbearable weight that you cannot handle, you may end up doing stupid things that you will be paying for a long time to come.

Finally, ending on the buddhist note, nothing is bad, nothing is good, things just are in their own suchness. You don't make good, or bad, decisions to regret in the future.

You can eat your rice with a fork, a hand, or a chopsticks -- all methods are equally good and will serve the purpose. Question is which one will you choose at this moment? You should not get attached to any particular one. If you dine in Japan; learn the chopsticks, in India; a hand, etc. Whole life is full of choices. Be aware.

* the fifteen minute idea is not mine original, like most of our thoughts, I've read about it in the past, maybe in Dale Carnegie books. Always learning from, and repeating after the smarter before us.

2003 Chi-Town Engine Teardown Competition.

Today, during the annual CarQuest World of Wheel show in McCormick Place, Chicago, we took part in the engine rebuild competition and won.
The job that takes normally 16 hours by the book took us over 39 minutes. About 8 minutes better then the next team. Of course we did not do every last procedure the rebuild calls for, some were dropped for safety (crank removal), other to shorten the times (only 2 pistons were extracted), but it was close enough the real thing. Also, we got a 30 second penelty for the dropped torque-wrench. There were couple of curve-balls thrown at us, such as the fact that you cannot lay down under the engine to work on the oil pan bolts (also for safety reasons). All team members performed superbly. I got a good quality digital video recorded.
This was a third win of our school in last 4 years the competition was conducted. We won mostly due to very good support of few dedicated LTI teachers and countless hours of practice. For last few months we were meeting at least 3 thimes a week and doing 2, or 3 rebuilds a day. Great experience, I got a jacket, a cap, a golden watch and some car accessories.

I am glad it is over and won, it was very taxing in the last few days.

Soul to the devil (.NET)

I sold my soul to the devil! I picked up my books on the .NET again.

As the Mac OS X fanatic it is hard indeed, the only hope is the Rotor (by Microsoft) and Mono by bunch of Aussie yahoos.

I wrote code in C# when the first .NET framework came out in Beta version (before Visual Studio .NET) and then J# and C# in ADEXS since their platform is based on .NET, but for last few months I enjoyed the bliss of Java on my Mac.

Well, I have to admit publicly that C# is awesome language and Visual Studio .NET rocks compared to anything Java (I still use NetBeans!), we will see what come out of that.

I am writing on Mac OS X emulation of Windows 2000 Pro (Visual PC 6).

(Update: Since this post Java frameworks and new features surpassed C#. The .NET Mono/Rotor never made it to Mac world. Java Groovy/Grails blew anything else out of the water in features.)

Another step in life journey

Lili made an another step. Today we were laying on the floor, I was reading and she was playing. I watched her to do a full 360 degree turn around crawling in her belly. She cannot lift the belloy yet, but she pushes with feet and hands. She figured out how to push with right hand side, so she rotates counter-clock wise.

Good going.